Alexandra McQueen

This is a silly article.
The content of this article is not part of official Warcraft lore, but has nevertheless become part of the World of Warcraft culture or community.

Lord Darius Crowley considers "weapons" to be just a suggestion.

This article contains "true" facts about Lord Darius Crowley. They started after he revealed his greatness by his mastery of cleaving his enemies with his bare hands, and received it's base from many discussions on the forums.

Facts must be Warcraft-related, must not be repeated from facts already in the list, and must use good, concise, English grammar. Incoherent, unfunny, or facts which are similar to another will be edited out. Facts must also be "appropriate."

Facts

• Crowley take candle.
• If Lord Darius Crowley was your pet, he'd dismiss you. He actually did that once while he and his master were taking a walk in Silverpine Forest.
• Some say that Darius Crowley and Chuck Norris are twin brothers. This is true; but because Darius was born first by only a few minutes, this just makes him that much cooler.
• Crowley Was taking a Crap in the blasted lands, He flushed the Toilet and Created the Dark portal, Over Thousands of Years, that Crap Mutated into High Overlord Saurfang.
• The above user was cleaved for suggesting that Crowley has the right to crap out Saurfang.
• The incoming cleave was deflected. The above user was also counter-cleaved for doubting Crowley's ability.
• Crowley was not imprisoned in jail. He was only waiting for them.
• Lord Darius Crowley did not copy pirates when he started wearing his eye patch, the pirates are copying Lord Darius Crowley, thus making them superior to ninjas.
• Lord Darius Crowley now has an apprentice. That apprentice punched Deathwing in the face!
• Lord Darius Crowley met High Overlord Saurfang once. The result was the Cataclysm.
• Lord Darius Crowley does not have one eye because he does not need one.
• Lord Darius Crowley once wielded a two-handed longsword, but discarded it as useless once he found out he could cleave enemies better with his bare hands!
• Lord Darius Crowley wields a polearm after lunch only, as a toothpick.
• Lord Darius Crowley is believed to have lived in the village named Pyrewood once, before the Greymane Wall was erected. The Wall became an obstacle once Crowley wanted to go back, so he cleaved his way through, resulting in the shattering of the Greymane Wall.
• Lord Darius Crowley was the first person to attain  [Shadowmourne]. He disenchanted it shortly after.
• Darius Crowley used to wield  [Axe of the Gronn Lords] with his teeth. He sold it when he realized his fists did more damage on their own.
• The reason the High Elves lost their home was not the Scourge, in fact, Crowley fist cleaved his way in and killed all there. Arthas just took credit for it.
• Vordrassil was not corrupted because of Yogg-Saron; Darius Crowley used it as a back-scratcher.
• Darius Crowley was leveling his Blacksmithing when one day he got slightly frustrated and cleaved the block of metal with his fists. The cosmic awesome gave life to the metal. It came to be called a Titan.
• Darius Crowley once had a pet. His pet once tried to get into World of Warcraft before he did, so he locked it in his basement.
• Darius Crowley once threatened to cleave through Naxxramas with his bare hands, that's why it moved to Northrend.
• Darius Crowley once forced Ozzy Osbourne to make a song about him. The song is now known as "Mister Crowley".
• Darius Crowley lives in Eastern Kingdoms and High Overlord Saurfang lives in Kalimdor. Why? Because one Great Sundering was bad enough.
• Darius Crowley solo'd Pre-Patched C'Thun.
• Darius Crowley has an eye-patch. Why? Well... someone had to make C'Thun look cool!
• Lord Darius Crowley learned from High Overlord Saurfang's mistake, saving his daughter before undeath claimed her.
• Lord Darius Crowley once had a student. Unfortunately, he could not take the power of the cleave
• The reason why Deathwing was hiding was because Darius Crowley was waiting to fist cleave him. He then came out of hiding when Crowley was busy fist cleaving the Forsaken. He stills fears him.
• It is told in a prophecy that some day, Crowley and Saurfang will face each other in an apocalyptic battle that will cleave the entire universe. Blizzard will try to interfere but all Blizz gms will be cleaved. The only thing that will be left of the universe is Hogger. Crowley and Saurfang will teleport to an alternate universe, which will also someday be destroyed.
• Many have made fun of Crowley's head while in his worgen form. Their bodies were later found with fist-cleave-marks in them.
• Darius once had a false eye, but he lost it in the Temple of Ahn'Qiraj somewhere.
• Darius Crowley has many aliases. Among them are Daruius Charming and Darius Alarming.
• Mr. Crowley did talk to the dead.
• Darius Crowley and High Overlord Saurfang once entered a staring contest. The result was the Cataclysm.
• Although he makes his first appearance in-game and lore in Cataclysm, Darius Crowley has been a part of the game since it began. Despite being a part of WoW lore, he managed to access the main server and create hundreds of characters worldwide. Who are these characters? They are the best players in your raids, as only the might of Crowley could ever amount to their level of awesome.
• The person above was cleaved by Saurfang since he forgot to include him in that fact, Darius Crowley was not pleased since said person had called him 'awsome'. As this event was suppose occur 21/12/2012, both Saurfang and Crowley had the date change-*BOOOOOOM*
• The Worgen are Crowley's pets.
• Thrall stepped down as Warchief because he fears Lord Darius Crowley.
• Jaina is actually in a relationship with Lord Darius Crowley. Not Thrall or Saurfang.
• Regardless of the time, Crowley awakens Ragnaros exactly on time.
• Once a group of scientists decided to measure the amount of energy released by Darius Crowley's cleave. All that was left was a bunch of broken rocks floating in space. Today, we call this the Netherstorm.
• Crowley's fists are made of Arcanite,HOOOOOO! (and yes, this is HIS warcry)
• Crowley's fists are so tough, he shattered the barrens after an armwrestle with Saurfang, which of course, he won.
• All the facts about Saurfang are actually Crowleys feats he youst let Saurfang take the credit.
• Crowley once trained an orc shaped fly in the art of Cleave the result was Saurfangack Gilneas, so Darius Crowley
• Deathwing once tried to attack Gilneas, so Lord Darius Crowley proceeded to cleave him, thus the reason why Deathwing was healing his wounds in the elemental plane. And the place where Deathwing crashed after that cleave is now called Un'goro Crater.
• Darius Crowley doesn't give a damn about any other Worgen other than him Dying, But Its the most important thing in the world for him to keep his daughter, Lorna Crowley, safe. Now that's a both badass AND good parent!
• Azeroth does not orbit around the sun. The sun orbits around Darius Crowley. Gravity is Azeroth trying to keep up. When Darius lost his eye, Azeroth caught up long enough to allow flying mounts to operate.