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Gnomeregan Gnews Gnetwork

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The award-winning Gnomeregan Gnews Gnetwork has been tireless in their journalistic quest to bring the most important news affecting the world of Warcraft. This news were shown during the official videos: WoW Gameplay Trailer: Nether Drake,[1] The Burning Crusade Launch: The Video[2] and in News From Outland: Crisis at Da Portal!.[3] Subtitled versions of the news can be find in the European official site.[4]

Contents

News From Outland

Introduction

In their latest segment, they turn their attention to the goings-on in some place called "Outland". Intrepid reporters of the GGG investigate the seemingly endless battle at the Dark Portal, the mysterious depletion of Zangarmarsh, and the source of a foul odor emanating from Shattrath's Lower City...[3]

Transcript

  • ESRB: Rated teen for teen.
History Re-imagined and ZoneDiscovery are played.
  • Unknown person #1: Gnomeregan Gnews. With... News Anchor Mar'Lee.
  • Troll maleMar'Lee: Tank you for tunin' in. Tonight's top story be: CRISIS at da PORTAL!
CRISIS AT THE Portal
Demon onslaught hindered by Horde and Alliance forces.
  • Troll maleMar'Lee: Since da portal's re-openin', multitudes a demons been pourin' tru, wid both da Horde and the Alliance tryin' to push dem back.
    On tonight's edition of Callout we talk to a demon expert, da warlock, N. Kagnito...
CALLOUT
  • Troll maleMar'Lee: We also have wid us, da self-proclaimed mouthpiece of da people, Barley McFrothbeard.
  • Dwarf maleBarley McFrothbeard: I say we round up all these red-eyed demon freaks and send 'em right back to Outland with their pointy tails between their sissy legs!
  • Orc maleN. Kagnito: I think calling them "demons" is a gross generalization. Why does everything has to have a label? I mean, who made them the bad guys all of a sudden?
  • Dwarf maleBarley McFrothbeard: Oh, they only want to DESTROY AZEROTH, ya flea-brained twit!
  • Orc maleN. Kagnito: Nonsense! They are just misunderstood.
  • Dwarf maleBarley McFrothbeard: They'll kill us all, ya gibberin' buffoon!
  • Orc maleN. Kagnito: Oh, I suppose you can read their minds all of a sudden.
  • Dwarf maleBarley McFrothbeard: Their demonic energy corrupts and destroys!
  • Orc maleN. Kagnito: I use demonic energy every day. I'm not corrupted.
  • Dwarf maleBarley McFrothbeard: Your eyes are glowing!
  • Orc maleN. Kagnito: Well, I... I have cataracts...
  • Dwarf maleBarley McFrothbeard: And you have horns growing from yer—
—wait a minute. You're one of them, aren't ya? (shot sound)
  • Troll maleMar'Lee: Well, dat was a close one.
  • Orc maleN. Kagnito: Aaaaaaahhhh!
  • Dwarf maleBarley McFrothbeard: (Clearing throat)
  • Troll maleMar'Lee: Uh, oh, now, let's go on-location to Wendy Breezy. How you doin', Wendy?
LIVE
  • Gnome femaleWendy Breezy: Just super Mar'Lee, thanks! I'm standing here with Commander Duron, who is leading the Alliance Forces against the Burning Legion here at the Portal! Mr. Duron, tell us how you're holding up against these unending waves of demons?
  • Human maleCommander Duron: Well, Wendy, I...
  • Gnome femaleWendy Breezy: What's it's like to see your comrades gleefully dismembered by these marauding agents of evil?
  • Human maleCommander Duron: Oh, yes, oh, oh, uh, yes...
  • Gnome femaleWendy Breezy: Comrades who are undoubtedly leaving behind devastated orphans and widows!
  • Human maleCommander Duron: Maybe we should—
  • Gnome femaleWendy Breezy: How long do you think this assault will last, given that the Legion is estimated to number... in the millions?
  • Human maleCommander Duron: Sorry, but... duty calls.
  • Gnome femaleWendy Breezy: Truly a man of few words. Well, this is Wendy—
  • Unknown person #2: CUT TO COMMERCIAL! CUT TO—
PLEASE STAND BY
The commercial World of Warcraft Valentine's Day Commercial is played.
  • Troll maleMar'Lee: Welcome back.
MARCH IN THE MARSH
Special enviromental report from Zangarmarsh.
  • Troll maleMar'Lee: We go now to a special enviromental report with investigator journalist, Spoggle Greasecakes.
Investigative report from Spoggle Greasecakes.
Written on the reporter's screen: Shady Ventures
Zangarmarsh
  • Gnome maleSpoggle Greasecakes: But what you don't know is that there are new and sinester forces at work in Outland as well, in the tranquil ecosystem of Zangarmarsh.
Ogre Ramage!
  • Gnome maleSpoggle Greasecakes: This large mushroom, for instance, is being robbed of its natural gifts. This unscrupulous pilfering has drastically changed not only the local ecology, but the economy as well. As you can guess, the many pro-enviromental groups are not too happy about it.
  • Tauren femaleTala Snowgraze: What do we want?
  • Human maleNightElf maleNightElf femaleTauren maleTroll maleVoices United: A clear marsh! A safe marsh!
Written on the reporter's screen: Circle of Defiance Rallying for the Cause
  • Tauren femaleTala Snowgraze: When do we want it?
  • Human maleNightElf maleNightElf femaleTauren maleTroll maleVoices United: Now!
  • Gnome maleSpoggle Greasecakes: I attempted to interview the ogres on the subject, but they simply play dumb.
  • Image:IconSmall Ogre Mage2.gif"The Big Chopper": What ecology means? ME SMASH YOU!
  • Gnome maleSpoggle Greasecakes: Truly, Zangarmarsh is a land beset by conflict.Its woes come not only from the ogres, but from the secret and sinester naga as well.
  • Tauren femaleTala Snowgraze: The naga... those vile creatures have begun draining the swamp precious waters for some unknown purpose. Of course, we have vowed to stop them.
  • Tauren maleUnknown tauren #1: Stop the draining!
  • Gnome maleSpoggle Greasecakes: We caught up with a naga spokesmen, who had this to say:
  • Naga maleMal'aga: Our enviromental expert assures us that our activities in Zangarmarsh are in no way harming the eviroment. Isn't that right Mr. Stickyfingers.
  • LeperGnome maleMr. Stickyfingers: (nodded his face)
  • Tauren maleUnknown tauren #1: Stop the murder!
Written on the reporter's screen: March in the Marsh
  • Image:IconSmall HarvestGolem.gifUnknown harvest golem #1: Unfortunately it seems the evidence is clear: unless the Cenarion Circle gets help, the region of Zangarmarsh may be doomed.
  • Gnome maleSpoggle Greasecakes: Back to you, Mar'Lee!
  • Image:IconSmall Succubus.gifUnknown succubus #1: mob sound
  • Troll maleMar'Lee: Shoking, mon! In udda news a foul odor swept across Shattrath City and into Terokkar Forest, sickenin' all da victims in its path.
WRATH IN SHATTRATH
Unknown odor wreaks havoc on city.
  • Image:IconSmall Khadgar.gifKhadgar: Never in all my days in Outland have I smelled such a terrible stench.
Lower City, Shattrath
  • Image:IconSmall Khadgar.gifKhadgar: We have refugees from all over in this city, so the Light only knows where this noxious odor is emanating from.
  • Image:IconSmall Khadgar.gifKhadgar: We do know this much: it is silent, and it is deadly.
  • Gnome maleStrombone: Strombone was wondering, has anything like this happened before?
  • Image:IconSmall Khadgar.gifKhadgar: The only time we had a stench like this, Tobias had whipped up some sort of rare delicacy.
Interview with Tobias
  • Broken maleTobias the Filth Gorger: I don't know what might be causing this alleged odor, but it would have to come from an object so rare and so foul... kind of like this rotten arakkoa egg here. It's unique in that it— oh! Excuse me!
  • Gnome maleStrombone: (Vomiting)
  • Image:IconSmall Human Boy.gifUnnamed kid #1: It's a complete and total barf-o-rama! Run for your lives!
  • Troll maleMar'Lee: Da last time I seen something like dat was at a Level 70 ETC concert. Well, dat concludes our broadcast. Dis be Ancor Mar'Lee, and dat be da news!

Downscreen news

The following news where presented in the bottom of the screen during the video:

  • Millions of demons invade Azeroth.
  • Horde and Alliance forces stand strong.
  • Another nether storm ravages... Netherstorm?
  • Venture Company credits record earning to hero migration from Azeroth to Outland after Dark Portal's reopening.
  • Economists concerned with influx of raw material gathered in Outland.
  • Gnomish thief captured in Tanaris, blames evil twin.
  • Breaking News! Infernal lands near Gnomergan Gnews HQ in Shattrath City. Origin unknown.
  • Tanaris gnome's accomplice captured, blames evil triplet.
  • Wendy Breezy miraculously survives direct impact from infernal strike. Dozens of interns rushed to Sacred Hearth Medical Center in critical condition.
  • Search party for missing protesters in Zangarmarsh called off.

Notes

  • Although Strombone says "Strombone was wondering, has anything like this happened before?" in the subtitles it says: "Can you tell us if anything like this happened before?"

Characters

News Anchor

Field Reporters

Investigative Reporter

Interns

Guest appearances

Cameos

Prizes

They received the Best Show Starting with a Silent Letter (News or Comedy), Azeroth Media Awards in 2004 and 2006.[3]

References

  1. ^ Blizzard Entertainment Inc. 2006-05-01. WoW Gameplay Trailer: Nether Drake (English). Retrieved on 2009-11-18.
  2. ^ Blizzard Entertainment Inc. 2006-05-01. The Burning Crusade Launch: The Video (English). Retrieved on 2009-11-18.
  3. ^ 3.0 3.1 3.2 Blizzard Entertainment Inc. 2007-04-19. (G)News From Outland: Crisis at Da Portal! (English). News From Outland: Crisis at Da Portal. Retrieved on 2009-07-20.
  4. ^ Blizzard Entertainment Inc. 2007-04-19. Media -> Movies (English). News From Outland: Crisis at Da Portal. Retrieved on 2009-11-18.