People in your pug
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These are the people in your pug.
The PUG
Some players are in a large, well-organized guild that will power level them right up to end game content, and they play with the same 10-25 people for their entire career. Most players, however, have to do the vast majority of their outdoor group quests, 5-man instances and sometimes even raids, with a collection of complete strangers. While trolling the LFG tool, these are the people who turn up:
The Disgruntled Raider
"Come on, how can you wipe on Kargath??" He's used to a well-organized raid where everyone knows their responsibilities and works together. Now he's being asked to adjust his playing style and can't believe what noobs you all are. Is geared to the point that he could probably solo the instance, or at least thinks he is. Hates pugs.
The Terrible Tank
"Come on guys, wait until I have five sunders out on those three guys before you start dps" Chances are he's never tanked before and isn't geared or specced. He told you this when you whispered him, but you have been spending the past 40 minutes whispering random players who *could* be tanks so you invited him in. He's horrible. His tank gear is mostly greens and random quest rewards that he happened to have lying around. Can't hold aggro and can't take hits. You stick with him anyway because you ask yourself where are you going to find another tank?
The Guy in a Hurry
"I have to leave in 10 mins, can we hurry this up?" (10 minutes in) Come on, hurry up, he doesn't have much time! This guy usually does Magisters' Terrace in 20 minutes, or at least claims to. Can't believe you're wasting his time and taking so long. If your group spends too much time drinking, healing, or buffing he will help you along by pulling for you. He's going to leave the first time this causes a wipe. Has never played a healer or tank and does not intend to start now.
Captain Obvious
"those guys in robes are casters, you'll have to LOS pull" Knows every spell cast by every mob in every instance and feels obligated to share this information...every pull. He's great when trying to remember which mob casts fear but less so when starting his dissertation on how that mob with the axe is going to hit the tank, so that tank will have to be healed. The only known way to shut him up is to pull.
The PVP all-star
(doesn't say anything, just bloodrages to intercept whoever the tank is trying to LOS pull) He might have some arena gear, but suspiciously, most of his gear seems to be from battleground tokens. Probably has as many health points as the tank, but unfortunately also the same dps output. If you're lucky, he'll remember that fearing isn't as great in a crowded instance as it is in Alterac Valley.
Mr. Wait!
"Hang on guys, I'm not ready yet ... brb phone" There's no time like when you're running an instance to start a laundry, microwave some food, call your mom, or walk your dog...especially when you're a tank/healer. This guy constantly needs you to wait, and chances are good he won't be ready when you pull anyway. Always seems to be around when you roll on loot. The mortal enemy of The Guy in a Hurry. Probably related to The Guy in a Hurry.
The Wonder Twins
(they're probably sitting next to each other in RL) Two or more people from the same guild who start or join a pug. They support each other pretty well, but you know they're talking about you in guild chat.
The Beggar
"I need 10 gold to repair, is anyone in Thrallmar?" He's flat-out broke. The first bad sign was when he had to borrow money to repair...before the run even started. If he's a hunter, he's down to his last stack of arrows. If he's a caster, he's out of reagents. If you lend him some gold, he can port back and take care of it. Oh, and he'll need a summon. Oh yeah, and does anyone have any buff food?
Player who's never run an instance before
"Wow this is really cool!" At least he's enthusiastic. He's the warlock who soulstones himself and summons a voidwalker. He's not really sure how or why a skull keeps appearing over some mobs, but won't waste your time by asking about it. Doesn't have a threat meter, but probably couldn't pull aggro anyway. If you ask him to CC, he will happily cast sheep...then stand there, watching the sheep, until he has to recast. Will apologize profusely any time somebody complains. Mostly innocent. If you add him/her to your friends list and run a few more times with them, you may actually make a decent player out of them.
Non-native English speaker
"needing an Fortatud pls" Doesn't speak much. When he does, it's in broken, poorly spelled English. On the other hand, this describes a great many other lolwut'ers in chat as well. These guys come in two flavors: people who will play their role/s well, and wipe-tards.
Guy who wants to use Vent
"Vent Info: ..." (on a macro) Their guild has a Ventrilo server, with a room called "5man_PUG" or similar. Even though only 2-3 people in the group can join, he communicates all pertinent and relevant information over Voice.
The Annoying Asshat
"My god, you guys suck. I mean, how damn hard is it to Fear-juggle those three mobs and DPS the boss at the same time?" This guy is the scourge of any pug. He knows how to play, and probably has a level 80 of every class, but he has the habit of telling people what to do — and not in a nice way. Most of the groups he joins break before they reach the first boss due to his constant flaming. Usually plays a Warlock, Warrior or Priest.
The Random CC'er
CC's random mobs as they're being pulled. Did we ask for CC? Is something marked? No, but they sheep/sap/freeze it anyway. Often innocent, though there is a strong possibility that they are an Annoying Asshat (see above) at the same time. The one time you DO ask for crowd control will invariably be the time the mob resists, possibly resulting in a wipe, and possibly resulting in raised blood-pressure.
Mr. Meter Envy
"Anyone got a DPS Meter?" Maybe he's >ahem< "compensating" for something. Anyway, his only purpose in joining groups is to show how much better he is than everyone else. And by "better", he means higher on the DPS meter. If they are the one with the meter, count on it being posted after every boss, or every tricky pull. If he's a mage, he'll pull a group with a trinked-up Pyroblast as soon as the tank's marked a skull, then AOE. If he's a warrior, he'll intercept (usually before the tank has a chance to hit), whirlwind, and probably start cleaving for good measure. Even if he sucks, he didn't clear his DPS meter before the run started so he'll be ahead anyway. Will whine horribly if you ask him to CC. Refuses to pick up adds in Black Morass. If he dies, he'll blame the tank or healer. If he dies twice, he leaves (after posting his dps meter just to show you how unworthy you were to have him anyway).
The Death Knoob
"No sorry, I haven't trained Anti Magic Zone, I'm only half specced unholy, I don't know what spec I am" or "Woops! Wrong presence, didn't mean to over aggro....." The scourge of the group (no pun intended), even worse than that resto Druid with 20 points in feral. Probably abandoned his main at level 55 to play a DK. With poorly used death grips and uncontrolled minions, they provide nothing for the group except more wipes than that Huntard rolling on the tanking plate. They think death knights benefit from caster stats, making them the mortal enemies of paladins and shaman. Only way to solve it - kick him or leave the group. Though, with that group..... they'll probably get the Huntard using healing cloth tanking or the DK who thinks he can heal put to the test. What's next? A fury warrior tanking? Don't answer that actually... If you've PUG'd a group for an Outland dungeon, they may still actually be decent, if only because they put out way more DPS then any other class at the same level and gear (*cough, cough* [OP] *cough*). Unfortunately, they will learn the hard way that button mashing does not work so well in Northrend dungeons, causing them a great deal of confusion and giving you a bad headache.
The laggy DPS
"Guys I'm lagging like hell soz...." Generally the tanking Huntard's excuse for the DPS of a level 20, however this also counts for that resto/feral healer for specing like that...will usually disconnect as soon as they've been assigned another role in the group, i.e. Off Tanking, Off Healing, Crowd Controlling,etc. Oddly enough the internet will probably pick back up as soon as loot drops.
The Guy Who Plays Too Much
"LOL, your ap is only 4.5k" generally a hunter who believes in the Hunter loot tradition: he ninjas anything in Naxx that looked attractive, so he probobly has full epics. Believes he is better than you, and WILL mock you. It's best to use loot master so he doesn't get anything, so if you're a Hunter, ITS YOURS!!!
The "Newly" Leveled Ninja
This guy has full epics without telling you, putting on half decent made gear. He just wants the cash from it. Tell everyone to need it if he needs. Kick if he persists.
The Guy With Stupid Gear
You slap yourself with this guy. His DPS sucks beyond belief and will always use bad gems (maybe not even use gems at all). Either new to 80 or some idiot. That necklace that drops less than 3% of the time and just now dropped and would help the tank out A LOT cannot be had because Mr. Clothie wants it because...well, no one knows. Enemy of Ninja and generally is a mage. After about three wipes due to this guy, you find yourself WISHING for the good-old-days of clothadins.
The talkative nut
This person will distract you like hell, either with all the talking or making you drool at how hot you think she is with all her sex talk. 99% of their jokes are not funny. They cause too many wipes but mean well. Tell them nicely to stfu and they will. They generally have high repairs and generally an elf.
The eBay Player
This guy is level 80 with full epics, but doesn't have a damn clue what he's doing. Will often ask questions that anybody who's played the game for a couple of weeks would know, such as, "What does WTB stand for?", or, "What's a DPS?" If you wanna have some fun, ask him what spec he is, and see just how much he knows about talents. Will roll need on everything - never mind the fact that mages can't use plate, let alone that what he's got is 10 times better than what he's rolling on. He means well, mind you; he was just too lazy to actually level his toon and learn the game. Still manages to put out decent DPS, if only because he's in full T7. See also Player who's Never Run an Instance Before.
The Extreme Roleplayer
"It is with great disgust that I now gaze upon what was once the Temple of Karabor, one of the most sacred sites of my people. It is my sworn duty to slay Illidan Stormrage and reclaim this place in the name of the Naaru and the Light!" Normally, there is nothing wrong with roleplayers. However, some people may get annoyed at that one guy who, in the middle of a boss fight, leaves his character on auto-attack just so he can write a long monologue on how much he hates that boss because it killed his mother, father, and little baby elekk. Most likely knows at least 90% of all Warcraft lore, and gets annoyed at those who apparently are unaware (or just don't care) that Illidan caused the death of your father's half-brother's girlfriend's cousin Naisha while the very same Illidan is gleefully annihilating the poor dysfunctional pug.
Guy who doesn't help summon
"Can I get a summons some time today??" This guy trolls around the LFG channel, and he'll join any group. At which time, he keeps doing whatever he was doing before. He could be questing in the same zone as the stone, heck he could be right on top of it. But one thing's for sure, he isn't about to stop for something as silly as helping the group get started. This won't stop him from asking for a summon every 20 seconds. Even if he's in a Violet Hold group.
The Silly Joker
“My racial sux, but at least I have the best /train in the game!! :P” After your first instance with this guy you’ll either have him in your friends list or in your KOS list. Usually plays as a troll or a dwarf, he knows every emote on the game and will use them all the time. He will /moon the boss and throw Empty Brew Bottle at the mobs. He will call Arugal a pimp because he has many Sons of Arugal and will hit on Princess Theradras. Usually he is harmless, as long as he don’t go on auto attack to make sexist jokes about Grim Guzzler.
