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This is a silly article This article is silly. Coming from a source other than the computer games, trading card game, novels, RPG, or manga, its content is not part of official Warcraft lore, but nevertheless has become part of the culture belonging to the World of Warcraft community.

Contents 1 Slappywag, one troll to rule them all. 2 History 3 Slappywag's most popular owns 3.1 Alliance 3.2 Horde 4 Expanding Troll Horizons 5 Notable Quotes

Slappywag, one troll to rule them all.

Slappywag is known as one of the most notorious oceanic trolls around, not only for his rough tl;dr debates, but other assorted longer trolls like (this one), and (this one) where he recorded a Ventrilo conversation with a moron then made a soundboard out of it.

History

Slappywag was not born, he was created. It is believed that every time a Mexican rapist kills a black Mormon’s husband and rapes his wife, and his wife decides to keep the baby, that a Slappywag somewhere is spontaneously created. Of course Slappywag went through the normal life cycle, but it is known that his soul killed and replaced that of a more innocent child’s and stole his body.

Slappywag spent all his life wandering aimlessly around the city streets insulting Leb's intelligence and wit levels, until one day his pursuit for verbal street justice led him into an Internet cafe where he discovered the game, The World of Warcraft.

Slappywag initially started on the server Frostmourne on a Tauren Warrior named Rofltomato. After his guild Krazy Krishnans received every server-first ban available he deleted his Warrior and rolled a Rogue named Slappywag.

From day one of Frostmourne, it was apparent that Slappywag was going to be a prominent troll due to his popularity and notoriety. His guild Krazy Krishnans actually held large numbers of the most controversial Aboriginal trolls around, like Rank, Rover, and Hazmat. Later other famous trolls of that era rerolled to join Krazy Krishnans like Ramcat, Suspense, and the controversial deaf girl, Dome.

After reaching level 40 on his Rogue, Slappywag and his band of rerolled on Alliance, forming the guild OMG UR HAED ASPLODED. 3 weeks later they were consumed by the guild Redemption, which eventually was consumed by the guild Knights of Frostmourne. At this time, despite the allure of their hot-IRL girl Konstantine, Slappywag deleted his level 50 Druid, restored his Rogue, and leveled to 60 under the name Picnic.

While on Frostmourne, Slappywag achieved a number of things. Aside from obvious real-life failings which left him at such a weight that he had trouble getting up and down stairs without a break for a protein bar and water, he also achieved destroying the guild EGO (when he directed their website to a malicious site. After peaking on this server and finishing his Rogue PVP movie, he moved to Barthilas with the ex-’‘Despise’’ people and was a founding member of the guild ‘‘Affinity’’.

Slappywag stayed here as an Alliance Paladin until bored of the Paladin class and ‘‘Affinity’’ he rerolled a Rogue and joined Snitch for a week, before rerolling Horde and joining the prominent Horde guild 'Crimson Wrath'.

He stayed there until that disbanded, and then joined the new Snitch who had also all rerolled and then stayed there until quitting due to their disband.

After a 7-month hiatus to WoW he returned to join his partner Soj under a new Snitch. Within 1 month he had already killed 300 people and become better at PVP and PVE than 99% of the server. He returned sporting a glorious mustache that is thought to be fake and made out of Hafu's labium.

Slappywag's most popular owns

Alliance

• Darkflare . Slappywag has owned Darkflare a number of times, but nowadays, who hasn't?

• Skribz. Slappywag convinced Skribz to quit ‘‘Affinity’’ and join Snitch saying when he finished leveling his Rogue he would join him. Once Slappywag finished leveling his Rogue, he replaced Skribz in Snitch leaving Skribz completely guild-less and left to return to Frostmourne, where he wasn't wanted either, and eventually quit.

• Slayerman. This guy originally traded with Slappywag and then on changing his mind decided to recall Slappywag's character. Being the famous resourceful troll he is, Slappywag had a new character within 2 days, and then convinced Slayerman to give him his Mage back in return for a non-existent Rogue. Slappywag then raped the character and left it to rot with reoccurring credit-card payments to Slayermans Mum, leaving him with no character. Slayerman's Mum is still paying for that account today. Slappywag sometime uses it to troll on.

• Affinity. After taking the most gear of any other ‘‘Affinity’’ member, Slappywag sold his character and joined Affinitys rival and better guild Snitch. He then broke their DKP system without having them back it up and deleted their website.

Horde

• Hiliar. Using a hack called "Mountain Climber", Slappywag hid underneath Orgrimmar and then popped out to kill Hiliar and camped him this way for around 30 minutes. Yes, Hiliar was too stupid to wait for his PVP flag to turn off before resurrecting. A week later when the hack was detectable by Warden, Slappywag used his friends Horde character to give Hiliar the hack, which resulted in his permanent ban.

• Roope. Formerly a Rogue of ‘Crimson Wrath’’ and then Snitch, Roope "gave" his account to Slappywag as he wanted to return to a Rogue. 4 weeks later Roope expressed interest in getting his account back to sell it as he was having financial trouble, and asking for a week to find a new character Slappywag preemptively sold it for $900 to someone who transferred it off the account.

• Signz. Also known as Purged, Slappywag owned this guy on Alliance by releasing a video of him being 100%'d by a Paladin and multiple times on Horde, including posting Ventrilo recordings of him raging on the forums, of which he threatened to quit over.

• Los Bandito Locos (Guild). Although like Darkflare in the universal ownage put on these guys, Slappywag has been there every time pointing out how pathetic they are and how their complete lack of skill forces them to do easy PVP encounters that don't require strats (which is why there are none).

• Primal (Guild). The first major guild that Slappywag destroyed upon his return to the game. Slappywag's assaults originally started with simple flaming and trolling of the guild across all mediums (instance general chat, forums, vent etc). A disgruntled Primal guild member then gave Slappywag Primal's vent details (and passwords) and Slappywag then took 3-4 Snitch members to their vent where they pretended to be members of the guild in an attempt to wipe the guild repeatedly (making fake calls that resulted in deaths such as calling fake Shield Walls on the tank which resulted in the healers slowing healing causing his death etc). Slappywag then finally finished the guild off by repeatedly stealing Primal's raid ID. Primal disbanded to "escape Snitch's vendetta against them".

• Muttonchop. After exposing this guy as spending over 30 hours in queues to break 2k, Slappywag baited Muttonchop to create a 20 page thread in which he repeatedly owned him for the entire community to see.

• Barthilas Point Buyers (Community). Slappywag has scammed over 35000 gold from the Barthilas Point Buying community thus far.

Expanding Troll Horizons

Upon his return to the game after his 7 month hiatus, Slappywag began trolling people outside of the Oceanic community at (Arena Junkies) (where he is a moderator) and (Gameriot).

He is now known across the entire Battlegroup 9 community for (his notorious blogs), and hated by the likes of Hafu, Trance, Isolee and Inactive. This hasn't stopped him from getting his own channel on the official Battlegroup 9 Ventrilo however.

Notable Quotes

• "Why do you even post? If you can't comprehend the point of an Internet forum, or the tremendous amount of entertainment I get out of people like you highlighting your own stupidity, I'm honestly surprised you're alive."

• "And about 5 years from now when I’m lying on the floor in a pool of my own vomit and blood (with the occasional chunk of lung), violently twitching due to my nerves being recalcitrant to my brains commands and steadily regurgitating the contents of my stomach from last nights ‘Burger eating competition’, my exhilarating life will quickly flash before my eyes. I don’t know what I’ll see when that day comes, Hiliar, but rest assured that I wont see you."

• "Your influence in anything you do is about as real as Jewish-Rhythm. It's non-existent. It will always be non-existent."

• "Trolls should always be able to spell at an at least 8th grade level, or they will have absolutely no impact on the forum. Not only that, but you frequently add mangina ‘faces’ or ‘symbols’ into your insults such as “u suck ^_^” or “<3 insertmoronsnamehere”. Despite how e-trendy you think this may make you, you are completely mistaken. In fact I’m going to say that everything you say is pedomorphic, juvenile, trite and boring."

• "You are a 14-year old sexually confused adolescent boy. The first time I met you, you pretended you were a girl for about 3 weeks until I confronted you about it, you owned up, I kicked you from Krazy Krishnans and you re-rolled to get away from us. You should have renamed your character, you are a joke."

• "Speaking of which, stop reading this post, I know you would prefer to be on the main page pressing F5 every 3 seconds. In fact, I bet your getting wet just thinking about it, I bet this made you hot. Violently masturbate now, and don’t ever have kids. That is if you can even understand this post, I’m not sure about the reading capacity of those with IQ’s lower than 70 (which is the official IQ for mental retardation)."

• "What makes you think you can come to these boards and attack people? You're a nobody. Seriously. I've never seen you before in my life, nor have I heard of your name. What makes you think you're so great? I know, any time someone says ‘Bloodlust’ it is usually being related to faeces, so you and your buddies need to zerg all non-believers. Don’t."

• "Okay, listen to my instructions carefully:

1. Wipe the semen from Cremator’s most recent money shot out of your eyes. 2. Clean yourself up with the ‘man’ size tissues on your desk. 3. Take a deep breath. 4. Kill yourself."

• "No one is going to do you that gender-altering surgery until you’re at least 16."

• "You are a terrible warrior, but you are amazing at continuing to make yourself look stupider and stupider. You are a little girl, you are a confused and scared child. Your continued impudence is actually awe inspiring, how you never fail to contradict me, but then say ‘plz dont talk 2 me’ every time I respond. I think you should take a break from WoW, ask your mum to read you some of the classics like “Tomas the Tank Engine goes to France” and fall asleep in her arms. After you are well rested, feel free to come back in contradict me just because I said it, I’ll be waiting to respond and ready for you to once again retreat into your cold corner and sob. You are the biggest baby I know, I question whose credit card you stole to pay for WoW."

• "We're clearly dealing with a superior intellect beyond our comprehension here."

• "Speaking of names, I've always wondered if the "r" in yours is silent. You know, silent, like when you ask a room full of people "What's worthwhile about Supastar?""

• "So you're saying you have the miraculous ability to type posts about/to individuals who then choose to reply to said posts, as is the whole point of forums? You are truly an Internet pioneer. How did you develop this fantastic talent?"

• "That massive facial prostrate you have affecting your vision again?"

• "Oh I get it the ploy you've taken here is the typical one of insisting the other poster can't "come up with anything better", while simultaneously never offering anything of value or humor to the forums yourself."

• "Shouldn't you be off ditzing it up in another thread, explaining in detail the excruciating minutiae of your apparently tedious existence?"

• "I mean really, every time I heard you talking on Vent I was amazed you had the willpower to prevent yourself from eating the microphone, it being so close to the cavernous pit of lost souls known as your mouth and everything."

• "Sorry, was I being condescending (that means was I talking down to you)?"

• "Yeah, what's the big deal about literacy on a text based communication medium, anyway? Clearly it's better to champion the virtues of being an illiterate retard while high fiving your mongoloid friends. Hooray for belligerent stupidity!"