User:Messianh/Mallius

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Contents 1 About Mallius 1.1 History of Mallius 1.2 Facts about Mallius 2 Quotes from Mallius 3 Closing

About Mallius

Mallius is a known board warrior on the Blackhand US server. He frequently posts on many class forums with either an attack on the class, a rant about their overpowered abilities, a post describing how they need to learn to play, or a mix of these three. His posts are to be considered tongue-in-cheek.

History of Mallius

Mallius began trolling and posting mostly on the Blackhand forums. No one really paid him much mind at first, some found him amusing, most ignored him. As time progressed, his posts on class forums became increasingly frequent. He was the guild leader of the guild <Grim Garrote>, although has dropped guild twice to join the progression guild Transcended as an icon. He now has a new guild named Game Theory / Gwen Stefani. The official website is http://www.gametheoryguild.com .

This article was moved to a userpage for a borderline violation of the WowWiki standards(moved to a Personal Article) and possibly a Do Not Post article. For those questioning the neutrality of this article or those accusing it of being pointless or silly, please read this. Mallius over time has become an important member of the Blackhand US community. He has also been such a frequent and aggravating poster on many class forums that many people there know of him as well. Usually his threads will reach 5+ pages and someone will reference several of his other threads. At least once a week we will get a poster on the Blackhand forums asking who Mallius is, or requesting we keep him in his cage(This was tried at some point, with no great success). This article is intended to be a neutral, funny, and detailed account of Mallius and his antics. Keep in mind that a large number of people HATE Mallius(at one point nearly 100% of Blackhand hated Mallius), and a large number of people have come to love Mallius and find him quite hilarious. This article is far from pointless- Most of the quotes about Mallius were generated from threads where some non-blackhand poster asked about Mallius, or complained about a certain post of his.

Mallius was actually the second person who posted on the thread about this Wiki article, adding a few facts and giving permission to add a picture of him. If Mallius personally has a problem with something on this page, I am sure he will make that known and we will remove it or the page.

Facts about Mallius

• Mallius has become something of an Icon on Blackhand. Wherever he posts, hilarity ensues.
• Mallius was the second player on the Blackhand server to acquire the Runeblade of Baron Rivendare.
• Mallius has spent an immense amount of time dueling other players after acquiring the Runeblade.
• Mallius quickly became more famous for losing almost all of his duels.
• Mallius was once beaten to death by a naked Undead priest named Booda. (Using only her staff)
• Mallius repeatedly challenged and has been challenged by noted horde warrior High Warlord Aluxzondur in duels.
• Mallius has been known to post repeatedly and inappropriately in the Trade chat channel advertising his guild, Game Theory (as well as the appropriate channel, Guild Recruitment). The hilarity of that behavior has yet to be determined.

^{[Outcome Confirmation Needed]}

• "Actually, I owned Aluxzunder outside of Ironforge after he challenged me shortly after I got the Runeblade. Some of my detractors have said that the IF guards helped me, but those accounts cannot be verified, and I posted the screenshots." -- Mallius on BH forums.
• There are several short PvP movies featuring Aluxzondur VS Mallius in various settings. Aluxzondur at the time was theoretically considered the winner.
• Mallius claimed to be a navy seal using his fake alias. "August 14, 1986 BUD/S Class 141 Mallius Jyrki." Other posts by uninformed forum haters claimed that "No one named "Mallius Jyrki" ever graduated BUD/S, so not a SEAL."
• Mallius is rumored to be an alt of another person on the server with many speculating that he has a horde main. Others claim that he is played by multiple members of Transcended as part of a great conspiracy.
• Mallius lore has it that he walked through the Dark Gaze of C'Thun and lived.

^{[Confirmation Needed]}

• Mallius was chased around Ironforge by a band of 20-25 gnomes throwing snowballs one Christmas. The "Mallius Lore" says that the gnomes have never been seen again since the incident.
• Mallius once fought noted Transcended paladin Cadelsaya in a duel and won(Not that anyone expected otherwise). Immediately a proclamation rang through the land that Mallius the great could defeat any paladin in a duel. Prion of Transcended accepted this challenge wielding only a Blacksmith Hammer and defeated Mallius. Uncorroborated claims by Mallius zealots claimed that Prion used an Ashkandi halfway through the duel. Cadelsaya is still the butt of jokes to this day, but has corrected his duel prowess.
• When he caught a guild using an exploit in Molten Core, he claimed to have made an arrangement with a GM to have that guilds item drop rate nerfed for all instances.
• Mallius was mailed over 50 fishing poles by the guild Avathar Corda. Angry over their disrespectful insolence, he cursed their loot drops. No matter how many times the guild ran Molten Core, they never saw a legendary item drop.
• Many assassination attempts have been made by the Horde when Mallius was flagged in Ironforge.
• The assassination attempts failed. -- Source: Mallius
• A horde rogue named Trildon^{[Confirmation Needed]} stealthed into Ironforge one night and with coordinated efforts from a friend on an alliance alt, got Mallius to go get his runeblade and stand out in the middle of everyone and flag. He then killed Mallius and /laughed on his corpse in the center of IF. Mallius supporters have claimed that Mallius' was tricked by the level 1 alt, and that no one could have killed Mallius. Per "Mallius Lore" only in fairy tales can Mallius be defeated.
• After an immediate wipe in Shattered Halls, with 2 elites attacking him, Mallius killed one and left the other at 50% health.

Quotes from Mallius

• We have rogues that use their improved exposed armor - I don't waste rage to sunder. -- Mallius on tanking.
• The people of Blackhand have nothing but solemn respect for me. I'm #1 Warrior on my server and I am treated in a manner that is commensurate with this status. Good behavior I will reward, but hottieness brings forth the switches.
• I am in top physical condition with a resting heat rate of 48 beats per minute and can to 2 finger push ups. I have studied the diet and instructional materials of Bruce Lee and have similar reaction time having shared training methods.
• Bring it strong! -- Mallius' tagline
• I have DPS hold off until I give them the call "weapons free" on vent or in chat. This way there is no mix ups. Guess it's a leftover habit from by Navy Seals days. -Mallius on DPS
• Hellfire Ramparts is equal in difficulty to BWL as the final encounter with the Nether Drake is patterned after the emotional Vael event in BWL
• When I get to 70 I am not running scrubs in greens thru these dungeons. There are about 7-8 warriors on the server capable of tanking these instances, and we are tired of being your plowhorse while you and the other party members sit back and collect loot while playing volleyball and giving each other the Top Gun high five's like Tom Cruise and Goose with Kenny Logans playing.
• I was the original mace warrior, you wannabe's need to step off. It's like I'm back in high school and everyone wants to dress like me, sit at my table at lunch, they all want to ride in my smooth IROC-Z.
• I try to encourage people to have their own style and not to try to ride me and mine. Like my smooth Structure clothes I used to wear in high school, I don't know what's in style with you kids now - Diesel or something. I drove an IROC-Z in HS as well, just like V Ice. He wasn't from Maimi as depicted, but he was from Carrolton. Not too far from where I lived. If there was anyone I looked up to it was him. We used to go down to City Lights and get into the rap contests. Those were the days, things were simpler. Now, I'm a big star in game and IRL. So good looking, got so much money. Everyone respects me. I'm the #1 Warrior on the server, and in the most elite bleeding edge guild. If you want to be successful, you have to learn to be lonely. Because it's lonely at the top.
• I am that guy in the weightroom you speak, and I can't hardly get my workout finished for the all the girls coming up to me trying to talk to me. I just want to get my lifts done in a timely manner.
• I have not been able to get my GM weapons yet, as someone tried to poison me.
• Oh, I'm not going anywhere. It's just that my work with Transcended is done for the time. Trans recruited me for a reason - to bring it to the forefront of Blackhand raiding guilds and bring it instant credibility. I believe the results speak for themselves. The downing of CThun, the dissolution of the SA-IGNA Alliance, the fall of the now derelict Nephilim, all carefully and deliberately planned and carried out under my direction and setting up Transcended as the unparalleled leader of Blackhand. Its like a sweet symphony really, and I am the maestro. Did you all really think Shala acted alone in the CTS incident? He was but a pawn in my game, but I couldn't stop at destroying just one raiding guild! I then orchestrated the ultimate coup de grace. By targeting specific members of the Nephilim for recruitment at key areas of weakness, I was able to neutralize the only competition we had left ensuring my paymasters would have its pick of the first fruits of the server transfers. Now the deal is complete, and so I am back to my sanctuary of Grim Garrote, free to quietly manipulate events in my favor.
• You wanna know about Baron? I'm one of the maybe 3 players on this server ever to get Runeblade to drop so you can consider me an authority figure on Baron. I know how his mind works, I'm an expert. Do you think that he dropped it for me as some type of coincidence? Killing Baron is not about your lame 0.5 noobcake set, it is about getting a chance to get the most respected gear in the game. I'm talking about Runeblade. You think people don't respect me when I'm going home to Runeblade every night? The rarest weapon in the game, the most respected weapon in the game.
• I remember when I apped to Lancea Veritas (guild name reported BTW as Lancea Veritas is one of the names that was given the instrument used during the crucifixion according to the literature), and I was shouted down and my app made the object of public humiliation. I immediately blacklisted them and had drop rates at LV raids lowered. Ever since then their guild progress has moved at a glacial pace. You know things are bad when 1/2 your raid is Barov Peasants. If only they had hitched their wagon to this star they could have seen Chromagnaros before Xpac.
• Do not tarry members of Transcended, you are my chosen people. I think you all will be most pleased with the introduction of the new 41 point talent trees in my upcoming content patch. It’s just so rewarding to see one’s work go from an idea to the end product. It’s like Michelangelo beginning with just a mass of stone and peeling away at it layer by layer to reveal his magnum opus.
• Oh, but it’s not all fun and games on Test Server. Critadins, Moonkin, and Feral garbage litter the streets of Stormwind. Another problem, and I’m not yet sure how we will be handling this on Blackhand, is that players are garishly displaying their highest rank attained. This is a problem, as I refused to exploit my way to GM, as I was too busy winning the battle and leading, not sitting in some cave cooking deviate delights. These insolent noobs should be throwing palm leaves at my feet. The slate needs to be wiped clean and these noobs will not let their past glory go. Hope we can come up with a discipline plan soon and get it rolled out to all of the reputable guilds before the taint spreads. I would be ok with it if I was given the ability to display my Runeblade in some similar manner – I can put it on yes, but I would prefer some form of title commensurate with someone of my prominence. When I get my GM weapons I expect to be given the same respect (if not more so) than the GMs that came before me in the old system.
• Also another issue I need to address is paladins following me around in BGs when I am getting stun procs and stealing my stuns. They are using my stun procs to judge command and steal my honor. This isn't gonna fly, if you are a paladin and you do this I will tell you to stop one time then no more, if you do it again I will have you kicked out of your guild - if your guild does not kick you out I will have your entire guild blacklisted.
• I got my Mass of McGowan in AV off a guard (during a winning AV which I led).
• Mallius vs. Somedruid(Somejerk):
  Last night I was PUGing in WSG trying to take the edge off from a hard day's work and who else but the vaunted Horde Hero Somedruid is in the Horde PUG I was facing. I proceeded to cap 2 flags all over Somedruid as he was turtled up on flag defense with a bunch of scrubs, easily killing him and swiping the flag each time. I won the game 3-1. It's good to see that there are still some Horde left that can man up and run in a PUG every now and then. It's good to be around the Salt of the Earth now and then, It lifts their spirits. Now I do not know why Somedruid was PUGing really, maybe he was there trying to pick up some girls, but if your paymasters are going to gear you up in quality leather gear then you need to bring it a whole lot stronger than that, Somedruid. I have video evidence.

  Somedruid's response: Mallius i don't think i came across clear. IF you see me running flags in pug wsg, its not 
 me playing my own toon but yet a friend. He loves druid versatility. 

It was in the horde flagroom that I killed you and another time in the open field, you weren’t running the flag so it was YOU. Reported for account sharing though.

• From the Druid forums:
  Druids need to stop trying to carry the flag and I mean now. Leave it to the pros, the warriors. Last night I was in WSG with my pally buddy, and we were going into the flag room to get the flag after clearing out all the horde mans when this ego crazed druid shifts into bear form and steals the flag before I could get to it.
  Now understand that I am a respected Tier 2 Warrior on my server and this kind of druid behavior is not tolerated from guilds on my server. Even as I trailed the lumbering druid they never dropped the flag for me to pick it up and bring it home for the easy win. Instead, our whole team was forced to indulge this druid's flight of fancy and do its best to protect its weak bauble of a body, like something delicate one takes out to look at from some glass menagerie.
  Look, I don't expect a druid to try to heal me while I run the flag, I know they can't do that with their molasses like heals. I know not to ask people to bite off more than they can chew. We can't all play the lead like Sara Brightman, but someone has to sing in the chorus. And that is the druid's role. Buff me with MOTW while I run, give me Barkskin when I'm in trouble, and cast vines on people who are chasing me. That's all I ask of you.
  On a not so related note, I understand that tomorrow marks the Tauren Druid's new moon and the owlbeasts are stirring. I understand that druids are planning Moonkin raids in the BGs all over the lands, I think that good, good for you druids. That's the kind of spunky behavior I have come to expect, not this these ego crazed outbursts in the BGs trying to carry flags. I hope everyone is clear as to their expected part in the BGs from now on and please share this post with your guild druids so we can get this info rolled out ASAP. Thanks for your time, I hope there are no problems and see you in the game.
  Mallius
  Hero of Alterac
  Champion of the Alliance
  lvl 60 Human Warrior
  Blackhand Server
• On the Subject that Paladins will never tank/dps: The fact of the matter is that no matter how well you may do it, people just flat out don't like you doing it. So you won't. Not taking you to raids as DPS or Tank until Blizzard flat out makes us, and if Blizzard does make you required, well that's it for me I'm going to Warhammer.

• My avatar is a dragon cause I kill so many dragons. You all nub rogues have that hard breathing stone man because that's how yall breath when I won't taunt off of you until you feign.
• I main tank, I main DPS. I'm a playmaker. The last thing I need is some scrubby 300 DPS rogue with his face painted up like The Crow trying to tell me how to get it done.
• At next year's blizzcon, me and several of my warrior friends from my server are going to go up to the feral druid booth and just start unloading massive haymakers on people.
• (9/10/07 post on US druid forums) We're having trouble with healers letting the MT (me) die on Tidewalker and even though it might be a good idea, I will not have a feral druid MTing over me. OTing is fine, but what message would letting a feral druid MT on a raid boss send to the guild? I don't care care how many healers it will take to keep me up 5,6,7+ we will bring them in and have the feral help group up the murlocs. Feral druids can't thunderclap and reduce his attack speed by 20% and they love to leave that out of the discussion. They are best used against weak mobs to tank multiples and mobs with no damaging attacks.
• Mallius: During routine investigations <GT> intel has uncovered that guild <Polaris> gave ret paladin, Jynx, a Dragonspine Trophy. Jynx also happens to be the guild master of Polaris. I hope this was just the actions of an ego crazed GM and that this has not become acceptable practice within the raiding community on blackhand. Questioner of Mallius: How does SOMEONE ELSE'S GUILD determing THEIR loot affect YOU? Mallius: We have a lot of apps from Polaris and maybe one of them would have DST if you didn't give it to a garbage ret paladin.
• Druid tanking is a myth like the power of the soviet military industrial complex of the cold war.
• (10/3/07 -- Blackhand US forums) Mallius: It's generally not a good idea to rattle the cage of <GT> like this. We've got some of the most dangerous players on the server, and we roll with the hottest girls. I believe myself to be the reincarnation of Hannibal. I can guantee a Tidewalker kill for <GT> this week with no Derrida tanking. Many people believe it was the diet of the Mongrols which was provided by their Khan Ghengis that gave them an advantage in battle. During raid it is not uncommon for <GT> members to dine on sea buckthorn while we go over the Order of Battle.
• (10/24/07 - Druid Forum)As a feral druid you don't really want to waste your item points in dodge. You will likely not be taking too much incoming damage as you will be only an offtank. It is important for a feral druid to have a good amount of +healing and also INT and Spirit as you will need to be shifting out of bear form to constantly refresh a 3 stack of lifebloom on the tank.
• (12/04/07- Priest Forum)discipline priests need to stop running around the pillars in circles in arena. it makes you look like an absolute noob and the people playing against you will just think you are a tool. It's fine is you want to try and los by kind of hiding behind one and popping out to heal and stuff, but this running around in circles like an autistic freak has got to stop. I'm #1 warrior on my server and I come to the arena to fight not chase scrubs around pillars. If you want to try and survive get run speed enchant's (like boar's speed) and pick up pain suppression. I can and will report any and all priests running around pillars in the future or at the very least talk to their guild leader.
• Zibiah is the best Ret Pally on Blackhand, and she is the only Ret Pally you will see in my raids. ~Mallius~

Blizzard forums have a short duration, and Mallius' incredible words of wisdom seem to be moderated by our insect overlords. So if you have a Mallius quote, please, add it!

Among the most famous qoutes about Mallius, are, of course, his detractors. The sheer number of them is astonishing, even considering the population of the server he plays on.

Closing

Mallius and more discussion about him can be found on the Blackhand Forums.